I'm reading an ongoing discussion on one of the facebook groups I'm on for knitters and I just have to say, I think that people who deal with invisible disabilities have to be some of the most resilient and strong people around. They not only deal with pain and suffering from their illness and how to cope with that, but they also have to cope with other people who are judgmental and cruel, who make unsolicited comments and have attitudes that bully and hurt. I know that people will all kinds of disabilities have to deal with that some, but it just seems more prevalent with people dealing with something that isn't immediately obvious to the observer.
Unfortunately, it isn't usually a stranger, but someone they know well, who lives with them or comes to their home that makes the comments, gives the exasperated expression, etc. As a person who has had fibromyalgia for a few years, I know that I am on the sensitive side and tend to pick up on it way too easily. I have to resist the urge to immediately defend my actions, when I really shouldn't ever have to.
I have to say that I'm really lucky to have the family that I have. They support without judgement and understand that pain isn't something that a person "chooses" to have in order to get attention. They know that I would give anything to be able to work and support myself instead of depending on the Government to support me. They know how important it is to me to be able to do all that I physically can before I ask for help for something and when I do ask, they know that it's my last resort and I don't do it for attention.
Its my prayer that everyone else can have the same support and love from the people that are important to them.
Gentle Hugs
Peg
I know where you are coming from...I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1993.I will tell you about two of my best comebacks to insensitive,unthinking "friends" at that time.One young woman asked me if I was absolutely sure "it wasn't 'all in my head',because they make a pill for that".I laughed and replied that I had tried that already and it didn't work! Then to a young man who thought that I might be faking,I responded-"Michael,if I could wave a magic wand,I would give you the worst of my symptoms for 48 hours so that you could understand what I'm dealing with.and you would come crawling back to me on your hands and knees in less than 24 hours,begging me to please take it back,and wondering why I hadn't put the gun to my head yet."neither one ever said anything to me like that again. And I wanted to let you know how lucky you are that you have the support of your family.none of my family,with the exception of my two kids,have ever understood.even with a Lyme disease diagnosis concurrent with the fibro,they still refused to believe I wasn't exaggerating my condition.my illness was a major contributor to the the dissolution of two long term relationships,one ending in divorce.finding others who have this condition has helped alleviate any feelings of isolation.I belong to a couple of Facebook groups,and have found a few Facebook friends who are fellow suffers,too.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteSociety, always have a hostile hostility to the people, do not believe that any person, any more different situation of a person. Cheeseparer grudges, or psychopathic on a secondary phenomenon. On the contrary, there is a person who has a sense of the degree of difficulty, but he grew up in a difficult and difficult, but also more compassionate and generous minded embrace. Because he knows life, know the joys of life.
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