Hi! It's me!
Wow! I haven't blogged here in such a long time! I'm 62 years old now and I've managed to keep living through all the craziness of having fibro and dealing with out of control diabetes, thyroid issues, high blood pressure, etc. etc. In spite of all the pain and set backs, I keep trying to live the good life and progress through it. On top of my own issues with disabilities, this year has thrown a lot of poo at me. Covid 19 came barreling along, along with climate change issues, political shit shows, and just plain misery from people who should be able to adult, but can't quite seem to measure up to it.
Where I'm at right now: I share a beautiful house with a gorgeous view of Mt. Rainier from the front porch and windows. Five adults all sharing rent and making it possible to live here. I get the two smallest rooms in the house to myself and have one of them all fixed up to be a terrific craft room stocked with yarn and fabric along with all my needleworking toys. I have my computer set up in the room as well and I spend a lot of time zoning on computer games when my pain calls for a "down" or "brain fog" day. I have three cats that share the space with me and occasionally pull me from my fogginess by demanding my attention. I am also in possession of a planter garden in my back yard where I go to connect with the earth. I have all my favorite herbs for making tea growing out there and I take our dog with me and go water every day, even if I don't want to, so my green stuff doesn't die. Most weekends I spend doing table top role playing games with the kids and making food. I also possess a tread mill and an under desk style exercise bike to keep my gastroparosis in check and not taking over my life.
My last doctor appointment was two weeks ago and It was determined that I need to see a cardiologist (joy) and that I need to replace my cpap machine which of course needs authorization from Medical....which hasn't found a need to ever get back to my doctor. So I get to jump into that wild goose chase and try and get something that is obviously needed (not only is my machine old as fuck, but it was recalled a while ago and I never found out). The doctor said that the recall states that the machine shouldn't be used because it can cause cancer, but I should still use it because...you know...I might die from lack of oxygen if I don't... So if I don't hear from them by Monday, I'm gonna need to call the doctor back and find out if she has had any communication from Medical and then go from there. My back up plan is to, once again in my life, switch from medical to the VA and attempt to get a quicker resolution from them. Nothing is quicker when it comes to the VA, but I have to try. Can't go on using a machine that isn't giving me the rest I need and continuing to live in a fog all the time.
I seem to have periods of time when I feel more active and alert and I plan a cleaning schedule, start knitting for different causes, and enjoy doing things with the kids more often. But they don't last for more than a couple weeks before I go back into a foggy period where my sleep schedule goes off and I get grumpy and head-achy and have digestive and blood sugar issues again.
In spite of everything, I have managed to keep on my exercise schedule of a half hour of walking on the treadmill or stationery biking every day (depending on how I feel determining which one I choose). I'm on two types of shots a day now, Victoza in the morning and insulin at night along with oral medication (Metformine) twice a day and I take a host of other medications as well.
I don't get out of the house much any more. I fall asleep or have gut issues too much to get far from my room and my bathroom. I sleep anywhere and anytime now. I even fall asleep while I'm in the middle of exercising unless I have a video or lively enough music going. I actually fell asleep while I was on the treadmill and luckily woke up quick enough to catch my balance and keep from falling. I fall asleep constantly while I knit and crochet and even poked my hand with my needle a week ago while trying to embroider. The challenge is real! When people ask me why I'm unable to work if I am able to do all my crafts for charities, I simply ask them to point me out to an employer that wouldn't mind it if I took several naps a day while at work. That usually shuts them right up. Haha
The challenge, seriously, is to find a way to stay upbeat and not get depressed while struggling with my disabilities. I constantly search for ways to increase my energy while at the same time, try to stay adaptable and live each day at a time (sometimes each moment). If I'm tired, I tell myself that there is no shame in napping at any time or any amount of times, a day. If my energy is low, I put off doing housework and pull up my knitting, or even put my games on my computer and shut out the noise in my head that tells me I'm not being productive enough. If I am unable to find solutions to my health problems, I lay them out before my doctor and try to ignore the voice in my head telling me I'm some kind of phleb and that I complain all the time.
Now the pins and needles part of the blog. I'm working on making small teddy bears for kids in the local hospital and for friends that have asked for them. I'm also working on making socks and afghans (I have a corner to corner crocheted blanket I'm working on right now) and plan to give them to nursing homes in the area that accept them. I am doing a little sewing right now and hope to restore second hand baby dolls and make clothes for them to be donated to low income children in our area as well. So plenty of projects to show and report on.
