Here's the thing; taking care of someone who is on hospice for cancer is extremely time consuming, but while I haven't done as much knitting, the act of knitting has been very therapeutic for me. We got to a point, here, where I could only do so much to help Randy and then I was left to hear his difficult breathing and his moans and had to find a way to cope until his medication kicked in. I found that knitting was the best way to do that. I was still able to listen to him in case he needed help, but had something that would distract me.
As is the case whenever I was under stress in the past, my fibro flared up. At first it wasn't bad and I was able to work through it, but if I injured myself in any way, the area of the injury would get crazy out of control. At one point while caring for him, I mis-stepped while I was on the bus and twisted my ankle. It flared up and swelled up and stayed that way for three weeks. Every morning the joint would swell and be too stiff to move and I would have to force it to work. The day before he passed away I pulled a muscle in my upper arm while trying to get him situated on the gurney and that took a week to work past. I couldn't pull my shirts off and was unable to lift my right arm. This week its my left thumb. It stiffens up during the night and I have to pop it when I move it in order to get it working again. It clicks a weird click while I move it when I knit. Lots of fun since I've started trying to knit to sell again. The difference between now and two years ago is that now I just acknowledge that its the peculiarities of my weird body and I have to live with it. I take my ibuprofen and march on. I expected to have issues when I first came out here because I knew I would be under stress and I wasn't going to be able to rest while I faced it.
Now onto the more pleasant side of knitting with fibro; knitting!!!
Here are some of the things I've been working on:
This is my attempt at a braided rag rug. I've decided that this would be a great project to use discarded clothing and make something that can be used around the house or sold. So far I finished this rug and the dog has already blessed it with her urine. It's in a bag to be taken to the laundromat on our next trip there.
These are the socks and the hat I made for Randy the last couple weeks of his illness. They gave him comfort, even if they weren't anything special to look at. I knitted the socks inside out so that the smooth "knitted" side would be against his skin. He was having problems with itching and burning skin, but his feet were cold at night and he needed something to warm them. The hat is a simple tapered crown beanie hat that I made from some worsted weight yarn. He wore it to sleep in. I have both stashed in my drawer in my room and will keep them forever.
A gaggle of wash cloths were made. These are only two of them, I also made two more with variegated yarn that are now nesting in my linen closet and have already been broken in on dishes. I picked up the yarn to make more and a dish towel that I will crochet a loop on and sell as a set. I also picked up a hot glue gun and some magnet buttons to make refrigerator magnets to sell with my dishcloth sets.
I also made a whole bunch of socks that I sent to my charity in Florida before Christmas, but didn't take pictures because I was rotating between computers at the time. Now that I inherited Randy's laptop, I am able to better publish my blog and take knitting pictures.
Even in the worse of times, there are good things that come from it. I had the opportunity to meet a new friend or two while I was helping Randy. It was a huge relief and pleasure to meet Anita, a home health aid that came by three times a week to help Randy shower and shave. She was a tower of strength that stood about 5 feet tall. Her upbeat attitude never ceased to amaze me.
The other person that I really got a chance to meet was Dianna. Randy's best friend Gerald's wife. Even when I was taking care of him right at the end of his life, she was there, making me look forward to the future. She offered her help in starting a craft business and got me off my rear after he passed. I am looking forward to working together with her and making this thing really happen this time.
So now, it happens. I'm on my own and I have a young man here that needs my support. I know that my disability isn't enough to make ends meet so my knitting will have to fill in the gap. That means I have to get serious about it and force it to work for me. Considering all that I've been through in the last few years, this will be a breeze.haha!
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